O.K...I look pretty good for having had triplets recently. I didn't gain much weight (I was pretty malnourished b/c I didn't eat much in the hospital), so I was at my pre-pregnancy weight within a few weeks after delivery. Unfortunately, I also have my pre-pregnancy demons.
I've always struggled with my weight, even though at my heaviest I was carrying no more than an extra 25 pounds. Actually, it's probably better to say that I've always struggled with body image/self esteem issues. When I was in the fertility process and certainly when I was pregnant, I had bigger things to concern myself with. Now that things are back to normal....well, things are back to normal and I'm obsessing about same 10 pounds I've always obsessed about. Of course I know I'm not being realistic. With three new babies how can I possibly go to the gym several times a week? With an average of 4-5 hours of sleep a night, how can I possibly expect to have self-control in front of the fridge when I'm stressed out from the kids screaming all at once? I know I need to cut myself a little (a lot) of slack, but it's just funny how after everything I've gone through, I'm still me.
On a separate note, I have tell you about something else I've been obsessing about. A few weeks ago, on the 5 South Freeway near my house, a mother was driving her 2006 minivan with her three kids (ages 4, 2, and 1) and own mother in the slow lane. It was about 1:00 on a Friday afternoon, and for some reason, the traffic had backed up. Tragically, the truck behind them did not stop and slammed into the back of the minivan, killing all three children. I can't quit thinking about them. How do you ever recover from that? How does your marriage survive? How do you go back to your home with all your kids belongings? How do you make it through what used to be special occasions like birthdays and holidays? If that happens to me, I hope God kills me, too.
